We just got new pictures today of the boys and I weeped over them in a way I have never done with any of the other pictures. The previous pictures brought tears of pure joy, excitement and anticipation. These new pictures brought a wave of joy but also a wave of grief over what may not be. These were the first new pictures I have looked at through eyes that understand that these boys may not be entrusted to us by God.
My hope is secure. It is not in the Ethiopian government, CWA or my own ingenuity. It rests solely on God. I keep repeating Psalm 42:5 to myself,"Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become so disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence."
And while I will choose to praise God whether He gives or takes away...I would be lieing if I didn't tell you that my heart feels a little raw right now...a little prone to despair...a little more exposed than I am used to. I may be a woman, but tears don't tend to flood my eyes very often. Right now they feel like little springs!
In the midst of my shakey emotions God's Word rings sure and true:
Whom have I in Heaven besided You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:25-26
"The righteous cry, and the Lord hears...the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:17-18
And I will continue to pray with David,
"O send out Your light and Your truth, let them lead me; let them bring me to Your holy hill."
Psalm 43:3
My hope is secure. It is not in the Ethiopian government, CWA or my own ingenuity. It rests solely on God. I keep repeating Psalm 42:5 to myself,"Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become so disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence."
And while I will choose to praise God whether He gives or takes away...I would be lieing if I didn't tell you that my heart feels a little raw right now...a little prone to despair...a little more exposed than I am used to. I may be a woman, but tears don't tend to flood my eyes very often. Right now they feel like little springs!
In the midst of my shakey emotions God's Word rings sure and true:
Whom have I in Heaven besided You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:25-26
"The righteous cry, and the Lord hears...the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:17-18
And I will continue to pray with David,
"O send out Your light and Your truth, let them lead me; let them bring me to Your holy hill."
Psalm 43:3
Comments