Coffee


Disclaimer: This is not Kristin. My wife is an amazing wife, mom and my best friend. There are many things she claims I am “better” at than she (debatable) - however I will take.. wiffle ball I can totally destroy her (smile). But writing is something that God has truly enabled her to do. I on the other hand have been beaten with the anti-writing ability stick. I can not communicate through written words if my life depended upon it. Having said this I now ask that any writing errors be forgiven as well as ask that you not look down on my wife’s blog as a result of my 3rd grade writing skills. Having said this I still desire to the best of my limited and embarrassing level - share with you an account that occurred today. I went for coffee today with Judas Iscariot (the traitor). I spent hours with him picking his brain and swimming through his sinful mind. I was prepared to walk away from my study for the most part unmoved. Yet I was overwhelmed and had to tell someone (with Kristin being away and I home alone with the dog )- this is my only outlet.
Judas’ call to be a disciple is not recorded in Scripture and yet he obviously was called. He like any of the disciples gave up much to follow Christ. He had a “life,” a job, house etc. He like Peter (and the others) turned his back on it all to follow Christ. Judas shared with me through passionate tears of all he did, said, saw, and how he even followed Jesus after his message (recorded in John 6) when so many others left never to follow again. He was there to see the feeding of the 5 thousand, Jesus walking on water, blind men seeing, and dead men raising! He looked strait into my eyes and asked - “Have you done that? Have you seen that? I did and I was!” He then opened the Scriptures to me and showed me a number of texts explaining the meaning and then went a step farther and stated he was there when Jesus Himself spoke it. Then he began to tremble and his skin went pale and through pain (real emotional bone gripping pain) uttered this “I…I am the traitor? Look at what I have done? Sure I sold out, but look at all the other things I did…How dare you or anyone else label me, forever- traitor!” He put his coffee down as if to communicate -I am through with you. I have to admit I was convicted of my own weaknesses, but I had to ask… ”Judas before you leave... your right you do not need to answer to me, but what did Christ say?” After a long very awkward pause he quietly answered “I never knew you” He then mumbled “Never knew you? Never knew you? Never knew you? How could He say that?” He left without uttering another word and I was left there with half of a latte with this great reality - He had given his life to follow Jesus BUT he never gave Jesus his heart! The other disciples had no idea he would sell out, like so many of my own friends who if you asked me 10 years ago “Would so and so sell out?” I would have shouted “NO!” Not in a million years will they show to be a fake. Yet I like you most likely have a list of Judas’s who seemed so real, passionate, faithful…I left the coffee shop with a pit in my stomach. How many do I minister to today will in a few years show their true colors of unbelief? How many do I call friends who are truly lost but seem so saved? How many will become a statistic in some Barna survey? I am therefore left with this: Heaven and hell once again became very real to me today. Life is short and eternity is very long… Father, put fire in my bones not to see life as a game to be played but a battle to be fought.

Comments

Hi Beloved!
I'll be honest...the editor in me wanted to touch things up a bit :) but, more than that, I was so thankful for what you shared. I never thought about Judas like that! One of the sentences that you said that hit me hard was....Judas had given his whole life to Jesus yet never given Him his heart! WOW! I am so thankful for God' saving grace in my life...but, as I think about it...I often play the part of Judas. Doing things for the Lord while my heart is "far from Him". Thanks for the encouragement dear husband of mine!
Juli said…
Hi Bryan,

I think you have better writing skills than you think you do. Did that make sense?

Anyway, I just have to say, "Wow!" Thanks for the post and for giving me something to ponder today.

Juli
Family said…
WoW!Thank you for sharing. I have pondered this question in my own heart when I have read about Judas . I miss your preaching:) and got a taste today. Seeing your mind at work thought Scripture helps me to apply it in my own reading.
For His Glory said…
Very very cool insight! I really never honestly saw this Judas in this light, but you are right, it's probably like some of the people I might even surround myself with in today's time...