What do you do when your jeans don't fit?

Yesterday I mentioned that I would share with you my struggle with self control...or rather one of my struggles! There are plenty of areas to choose from, but one that specifically has been a real struggle for me these past couple of month is that I LOVE TO EAT AND HATE TO STOP!!!!

Now, before I go any farther, there are probably some of you who are already getting irritated with me. If you know me or see me often, you know that I am not a size 20 and, therefore, how could I possibly have a problem? Or, maybe you are even thinking...who cares...clearly you can get away with it! :) But while my struggle may not show in a huge external way (although some of my favorite jeans that I can't fit into right now might disagree a little with that statement!), my heart is in desperate need of renewal!

No matter how big or small I look, often, it is food that occupies my thoughts...typically once the kids go to bed. I love ice cream...sadly, sometimes more than I love Jesus. God is enough...but there are times when I just can't go to bed without some extra snacks and, in the process, deny (whether I realize it or not) that God is enough. It's not easy to write this down, but it's the truth.

What hit me hard these last couple of days is that, for so long, I have measured my inner man by the size of my outer man. If I looked good and fit into my clothes...I was doing great. If things were tight and I felt "fat", then I needed to "work on" self-control. Even when I have done Weight Watchers (after having my kids) my thoughts were still completely PREOCCUPIED with food....how many points was this item, how many points could I save to have something big later, etc. Now, don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Weight Watchers at all...the problem was and is my heart.

I have not been heeding the wise council of I Cor. 10:31, "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." And Ephesians 5:16, "Be careful how you walk, not as unwise but as wise..." In fact, when it comes to eating, I rarely ask the Lord if it is a wise or unwise choice. I have forgotten the advice of Dr. Bridges, "...let the will be kept in quiet, subdued, cheerful readiness to move, stay, retreat, turn to the right hand or to the left, at the Lord's bidding...no step well prayed over will bring ultimate regret." I am great about praying with my family at each meal...but I am realizing I need to pray over every snack too. That actually might keep many of them from ever entering my mouth! :)

So, after prayer,conviction,repentance and a precious talk with my mom...I took the kids to Value Village (like a Salvation Army) and bought myself some bigger pants!:)
Not because I don't care about ever fitting into my favorite pants but because, right now, I care more about my heart "fitting into" God's plan for my life. And, as I am renewed through HIS truth, I trust that my favorite jeans will find their way out of the back of my drawer one day. And, if they don't, I can still rejoice that while "man may look at the outward appearance, the Lord looks at the heart." (I Samuel 16:7)

PS I believe it is fair to say that I am not alone in struggling with loving food too much. If you have walked down this road or are on it right now, feel free to share! I know we can all be encouraged, as iron sharpens iron, in how God has grown us in this area!