A Happy, Sad Day

"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21

I sit here writing with tear stained cheeks. It has been a painful morning. As we explained to the kids....it is a "Happy, Sad Day".

We got a call this morning that our adoption was over. The boy's momma had gone to court and could not give up her rights. PRAISE THE LORD (said with tears!). She cannot afford to take care of them but CWA/CCCE are going to work at making it possible (as they do for over 500 other children who are living with a parent/relative in Ethiopia) for the boys to be reunited with her and live with her. PRAISE THE LORD (said again with tears!).

This is truly the best situation imaginable...and yet the most painful one possible for us. We are grieving a "Pichura life" that will never be, but a situation that we would not change for anything. It reminds me a little of what we experienced in the life and death of our first born son, Garett. The joy of finding out I was pregnant (we were going to adopt these precious two boys), the pain of finding out at 5 months that he had deformities so severe that he would not live (finding out 4 1/2 months into the process that our adoption might not take place) and then the day,at 8 months when Garett was stillborn (our phone call today). The grief is real in both of these situations, but so is the hope and joy. Our sweet baby boy is in the arms of Jesus, never to be deformed again. And our two precious Ethiopian boys are, Lord willing, going to be reunited into the arms of their dear mommy!

Why did God take us through the process of carrying a baby that was not going to live outside my womb? Why has He taken us through a process of adoption these last 8 months that is not going to end with these two brothers becoming Pichuras? I do not know those answers...but I know the God Who's ordained this to be...and He is a GOOD God, a gracious God, a sovereign God who is working out ALL things for our good and for His glory. Our hope is in GOD not in this or any situation...and that is what turns our tears of sadness into tears of joy. He will accomplish His purpose for us (Isaiah 46:11) and He is working all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). It's not just a "cliche" verse...it's gospel truth!

Our kids had tears of sadness...but they also showed great evidence of God's grace at work in their little hearts. I'll give you the quotes from my boys as they are quotes I never want to forget!

Titus said (in speaking about the boys mom): "I get it mom. First she lost her "honey" and then she was going to lose her boys and then she would be all alone...and that is not good."

And my son, Micah, spoke wisdom above his years (and blessed my heart greatly) when he said, " You know, maybe God has kept S and C in the orphanage this whole year so that they could learn all about Jesus...and now they can go and tell their mom about Jesus so that she can be saved."

Our adoption process is not over, in many ways it's just beginning... and we continue to ask for your prayers...but that will be a post for another day. For now, I would like to close with a verse and some thoughts (shared with me by my dear friend) found in "When Sinners Say I Do" (by Dave Harvey) as they truly do echo both Bryan's and my heart in this situation.

"For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." 2 Corinthians 4:17


"The Greek word for "slight" in 2 Cor. 4:17 means light in weight, easy to bear, without much substance. It's the same word Jesus used in Matt. 11:30 when he said, "My burden is light." Paul is not portraying pain as irrelevant or insignificant. We have probably all been close enough to the bereavement process to know that the pain of losing a loved one (or for us, an adoption) is real.

Nor is Paul attempting to trivialize affliction. He wants to elevate our perspective above affliction. The loss is real, but the pain need not become a crushing burden. In fact, the word "slight" is intentionally set in contrast to the "weight of glory beyond all comparison" that awaits us in heaven. "When Paul says his afflictions are light," writes John Piper, "he does not mean easy or painless. He means that compared to what is coming they are nothing. Compared to the weight of glory coming, they are like feathers on a scale." In this life, the death of a spouse (or adoption) is a defining moment that will mark us until we also die. But compared to where we are headed, it is but a slight change of course in the ocean of eternity."

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." Proverbs 19:21