Bryan's and my desire as parents is to reach the heart of our kids...not just the outward actions, but the heart. And that has proved especially difficult with Caleb and more so with Samuel. Communication is so limited (although it keeps improving every day!) and the more words I speak in a desire to clarify or instruct can actually mean the more I will confuse them. It's really the same as when we had little ones...one, two and three year old's...and so I have been asking the Lord to help me be wise in how I communicate and what I say...especially in the midst of correction.
Here are a few phrases (and how it usually goes) that I say over and over each time I am correcting, disciplining or instructing them(and truly, this is the same format I use with all my kids...I have just worked on simplifying it for Samuel and Caleb):
Did you obey mommy or disobey mommy? (disobey)
Does that make Jesus happy or sad? (sad)
If the verses we have memorized together are "applicable" for the situation, then I will go over the verse with them. Then comes the discipline...and immediately after I spank them, I hold them and tell them:
Mommy loves you so much. Jesus loves you so much. You need to obey Jesus and obey mommy.
Then, we will often pray...and I start by praying for them that God will help them to obey and give them a heart to follow him...and then I have them pray and, for now, "put" the words into their mouths:
"Dear Jesus, I am sorry for disobeying you by disobeying my mommy. Please forgive me and help me to obey. In Jesus name, Amen"
I end by asking them again what they should have done right and then we either go and actually repeat the situation with the right actions and words (especially with Caleb!) or we simply end with a big hug and more I love you's!
I am finding that this simple pattern is really effective and truly seems to reach their heart as well as get to the heart of the issue.
"Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart." I Samuel 16:7
"The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it."
Jeremiah 17:9
"Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."
Proverbs 4:23
And, in other news...Caleb is now riding a two wheel bike...it's a little scary but so cute to watch! :)
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