A couple of days ago I shared about the lessons the Lord is teaching me in regards to His compassion and the compassion I am to have for others...and especially my own family. Can I be honest with you and tell you that I feel so weak and inadequate?! I often feel so unworthy of the love of Christ and His compassion since I have such a hard time "passing it on" to my kids.
While I love my life and wouldn't change a thing, homeschooling, for me, is an ongoing adversity...sounds crazy huh? To willingly submit myself to something that I would actually call an adversity!:) Pastor Rob preached, on Sunday, from 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 about Paul and the thorn in his flesh and how, through it, he was able to see the power of God supplied in weakness...that God's grace was sufficient and, because he was weak, all glory went to God when His power was magnificently seen through Paul's life.
I guess I am sharing, too, because I would never want any of you to think that I "have it all together" or that I am some type of "super woman" who just fly's through life without much effort. My sin is so very real, my flesh attached so much tighter to me than I would like, each day is a battle to glorify God and not exalt myself and, in that, to fully recognize and live in the reality of how weak I am so that GOD may be made BIG in my life! I only do what I do because of His sufficient grace. I truly am "just the clay"! And, for me, homeschooling is a daily reminder that I need the Lord, I need to CLING to Him (Joshua 23:8 "But you are to cling to the Lord your God..."), I need to be a Mary, sitting at His feet desperately in need of His life giving words and life changing power.
Yesterday, I was reminded of some of His life giving words that have been very precious to me over the past year and yet, had escaped my memory in the last few months:
"He tends His flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young."
Isaiah 40:11
My precious Savior loves me and leads me gently! He know that I am but dust and He knows what life with "young ones" can be like and He is a gentle Shepherd with me, holding me close to His heart. That verse is one of the biggest hugs from the Lord, in my opinion, for a mother with young children! And the verse only gets more precious realizing that He will always hold me close to His heart, no matter what I do, because His love for me is in Christ. Jerry Bridges says, "Just as God's love to His Son cannot change, so His love to us cannot change because we are in union with the One He loves. God's love can no more waver than His love to His Son can waver...God does not look within us for a reason to love us. He loves us because we are in Christ Jesus."
Oh, how I pray for a growing love like that for my kids. To gently lead them and hold them close to my heart no matter what they say or do or how they act. To show them through my words and actions a beautiful example and picture of the verse (Isaiah 40:11) I hold so dear to my own heart. To show them what it means to be loved IN Christ Jesus!
My heart is full...not with guilt or sorrow...but with hope and joy in the continued example of my Great Shepherd and the reality that all that He is can shine through me in spite of all that I am! And my heart is so very thankful for the beauty of the Word of God...that it is living and active and that every word is true. I echo with all my heart the words of Paul in Romans 15:4:
"And whatever was written in former days was for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."
Comments
Thank you SO much for calling me back tonight! You are so sweet and encouraging! Honestly, the truths you spoke to me on Sunday REALLY did so much to remind me where my heart needs to be and helped me rest in the sovereignty of God. I am SO thankful for you! And THANK YOU for asking your Bible Study ladies to pray!
That means you started Bible Study! Are you going to be teaching soon?? :) Please forgive me for not asking these questions over the phone...sometimes I realize how selfish I am in not being genuinely interested in how YOU are doing and how I can be praying for you! I love you dearly and also want to encourage YOU, even if just by praying for you! So...next time I want to know how I can be praying for you! :) I love you and miss you dearly!
Then in my daily Bible readings lately I've been a little "down" because I've been reading Leviticus & Numbers (just as a side thought...I don't think Leviticus 18 should be read aloud to a congregation :) I know you're going to go look it up!). Anyways, I've been reading ALL the laws and rules that God gave to His people and was getting frustrated because I really didn't think I needed to be reading all this, since Christ death on the cross took away the "sacrifice offerings" that God was requiring of them.
So today as I was reading your blog I began to think about all the "rules" that society and others have put on us. And then I began to think about the loving God we have, who cared enough about us to give such explicit details on what was sin, and how we could make atonement for them. His love for us and His "follow-through" (His only Son's death) became a huge source of encouragement for me. Not only did He tell me how & what He wants in an obedient child, but He also offered to take the punishment by sending Jesus to die for our sins.
I can tell you that as I continue to read these chapters I also see how God really is precise & detailed in His instructions. And I have been felling VERY "weak and inadequate...and so unworthy of the love of Christ and His compassion."
I know this is extremely long...but I do want to thank you for helping me see how important these Books of the Bible are for me!
Oh yeah...I also LOVE to see the relationship you and your sister have! It is very precious and makes me long for my sister!
:0)