"I love you, Mom"

"I love you"...they are three beautiful words and, to me, the greatest way they are made beautiful is when they are words that are initiated, instead of words that are said in response.

John says that we love God because He first loved us. Our response...our love for the Lord is a wonderful thing....but the fact that He loves us...now that is AMAZING. We were His enemies...God-haters...living in sin and loving our sin. We were everything that He isn't and everything that He hates and yet, God's Word says that He first loved us. As a result, we have been given the gift of love, His love, with which we can love Him!

Not only have I been loved first by God but I have also been the recipient of self-initiated "I love you's" from someone who, for the last 7 months had only responded but never really initiated. That someone is my adorable, little, brown skinned, brown eyed son Caleb! For the longest time, he has held me (and Bryan) at arms length. I would have to ask for a hug...I would tell him I loved him and hope that he would respond in the same way but was often met with silence...I would grab him to give him a big "squeeze" only to have him resist and pull away. Don't get me wrong...it's not that he never showed affection, he did...but he seemed most comfortable "going it alone". He seemed unsure of attention and therefore shied away from it. I know without a shadow of a doubt his Ethiopian mommy loved him very much...but, since coming home, it had been as though he did not know how to be loved or show love.

This past month that has all changed. It's as though my little caterpillar Caleb has emerged from his chrysalis and is a beautiful butterfly. There are many things that he is still clearly "insecure" about and plenty of things we are still working through...but loving mom and dad is not one of them. Those three little words have become words that come out of his precious little mouth multiple times a day...completely self initiated. All of my children's "I love you's" are precious to me...but Caleb's bring tears to my eyes and my heart leaps. His hugs have become more frequent and there is a true sense of him delighting in being hugged. And, in the morning when he first gets up, he will actually come to me so that I can hold him...laying his head on my shoulders and putting his arms around me.

The uncommon has become common.

And my souls sings praises to God for the work He has done in my dear little son's life and how it mirrors my adoption into the family of God. You see, I believe that the more and more Caleb has gotten to know us...he knows that we love him, that we are not going to leave him, that we delight in him and love him when he is good and even when he is bad. He can do nothing or say anything that will make us love Him less...and he is starting to believe it and to trust us. And the more he knows us and trusts us...the more he breaks out in expressions of love for us.

The more we know God...truly know who He is and what His character is...and the more we study His Word the more we will trust Him. And, as a result, we can't help but fall deeper in love with Him. When we see the love that He has for us, in spite of us, we cannot help but love Him all the more...and to live lives that break out in expressions of our love for Him.

Adoption is teaching us many things...about ourselves, our family and our amazing God who is the author of adoption. And, this month...it has taught me and reminded me anew of the beauty of being loved first.
Caleb, when he was still in Ethiopia