Know Him?!

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed: always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies." 2 Corinthians 4:7-10

I read verses like this and feel like I can so totally agree...though not to the same degree as Paul. I am not afflicted in every way...I have small "afflictions" each and every day. Each day seems to bring new perplexing situations...usually by my children! I truly do not feel that I am persecuted the way many believers were in the New Testament but sometimes I do feel the weight and responsibility of proclaiming God's truth even when it's not received well. I often feel struck down...by my own sin, the sin of my children, and how it often effects the dynamic of our home.

I feel like I can often say in the same breath...I am exhausted, but good; I am near tears but so thankful for God's faithfulness; I want to crawl under the covers and escape but I am so thankful for my family; I am so tired of instructing, discipling, and disciplining my kids but I am so thankful for the responsibility and call by God to do so. The list of what needs to be done seems endless and I feel like I have no more strength but I am thankful for another day of life!

It's the pull between my flesh and my spirit...between what I know to be true and how I allow (or don't allow) it to be lived out in my life. It's about making choices to take my thoughts captive or listen to them and feel "sorry" for myself. It's whether or not I am living out the reality that I am called to daily deny self, take up my cross, and follow Jesus (only then can I share in the life giving power that comes in dying to self and living by faith in the One Who's power perfects weakness). It's daily recognizing that I am nothing more than a jar of clay...dirt. It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with Christ!!!

In 2 Corinthians 4 Paul shows the perfect balance. He is very aware of how hard life is...very aware of the pains, toils, and struggles that come every day. But he lives in the light of his glorious God. His aim isn't comfort, ease, or having all of his questions answered. His aim is "to KNOW CHRIST and the power of His resurrection, and (that he) may share His sufferings, becoming LIKE HIM in his death..."(Phil. 3:10). Because that was Paul's goal he was not crushed, in despair, forsaken, or destroyed. He KNEW God and that changed everything!

This past month the Lord has impressed upon me that I need to seek to "simply" KNOW HIM! I spend a lot of time reading books and studying how to be a godly wife and mother, how to manage my home, how to honor God with my time and energy...and all those things are very good and very important but all those things must be the overflow of my love relationship with God. The more I know Him...the more it will change every area of my life and cause me to be a godly wife, mom, and friend . I don't ever want my relationship with my Heavenly Father to become dry and systematic...a list of what I should do or should not do. My prayer is that words like "deep", "longing", "intimate", and "passionate" would mark my life and my relationship with my Savior.

I am so thankful that God wants me to know Him...so thankful that He has given me a Book full of words that describe Him and show forth His glory and so thankful for the Holy Spirit...God IN me...to keep me from being "stagnant" or "dry". So thankful for His passionate pursuit of me and His promise that when I seek Him I will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13) and that He rewards those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:6).

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