I have been wanting to write on "perspective" for some time now...every since I went to visit my sister last month. On the flight down, the view out my window was just amazing. There were things I had seen only by car that looked so beautiful from way up high and other sight's that I didn't even realize were there, though often, we were within thirty minutes of them in our driving. There was Crater Lake, other mountain lakes, Mt. Saint Helen, lots of little islands, and a beautiful view of different colors of ocean blue along the coast. Being up so high, I got a different perspective and was that much more amazed.
I couldn't help but think that often, in my own "day to day" life, what I need is simply a new (or right!) perspective. I think Voskamp said it well when she said there are days that she wakes "to the wrestle to get it all done, the relentless anxiety that I am failing. Always, the failing. I yell at children, fester with bitterness, forget doctor's appointments, lose library books, live selfishly, skip prayer, complain, go to bed too late, neglect to clean the toilets. I live tired. Afraid. Anxious. Weary."
Do you ever feel like that?
Or maybe you can echo the sentiment of a pastor who was asked what his most profound regret in life was. He said, "Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing...Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away."
Ouch...but it is more true of me then I would care to believe.
And, in the midst of it all, it's easy to cry out with Solomon when he says in Ecclesiastes that all is "vanity"! But the reason I want to cry out "vanity" is because many time what I am doing IS in vain because I am doing it in my own power and strength. I am doing it with my glory, comfort, and desires in mind...not "for the glory of God". Instead of seeing my dirty kitchen as an opportunity to serve the Lord and my family and as an opportunity to praise the Lord for all the food that dirtied those dishes and all the little mouths that sit around our table eating it; I see it as "one more thing" that needs to be done, one more thing keeping me from a moment's rest, one more thing that is "vanity" because it will be a mess a few hours later again.
Or take my kids and the constant trail of stuff they leave all over the house. I cannot tell you how much it drives me NUTS!!!! I feel like a slave sometimes...seriously!:) But how often do I just resort to yelling irritated words, demanding immediate clean-up, or letting them know just how much they have disappointed me instead of calmly, and with the mercy and love God shows to me everyday, taking the time to instruct their hearts. To remind them that, in leaving their stuff all over the house, they are being selfish. They are living a life of seeking to "be served" not to serve. And then taking them to the feet of Jesus and helping them to see that if Jesus had come to "be served", He would have never died on the cross. He would have never emptied Himself for us. We would be on our way to hell. But He came "to serve and to give His life a ransom for many", praise God, and we have the amazing blessing of following in His footsteps...and we have all the help we need through the Holy Spirit because Jesus has gone before us!
It's perspective, isn't it?
This week has been wonderful...and exhausting. I don't like seeing a "5" as the first digit on my clock when my alarm goes off :) and bed has been calling my name earlier than it used to at night. Grace told me yesterday that she was so excited when the bell rang because she was so tired and wanted to come home...and then she realized it was just the lunch bell!:) We both had a good giggle about that one!
But as I sat at my desk this morning, a wee bit tired and a wee bit emotional...God gave me a dose of perspective in the form of pictures...pictures of unbelievably bad flooding taking place in Bryan's hometown right now (where his parents and brother and family live). Sure, I may have had a messy kitchen to clean up this morning...but what a gift to HAVE a kitchen that is not flooded and ruined. Sure, I have to get off this computer and get to homeschooling the boys, but what a blessing it is to be able to sit down with them and continue in our routine in our home...and not in a shelter or hotel with no "normalcy" in sight.
Oh, to have a heart that lives in the will of God...that "rejoices always, prays without ceasing, and gives thanks in all circumstances". That my perspective would always be one of thanksgiving...because I know that all that God does is for my good and His indescribable glory!!!
"Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city,the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."
Psalm 127
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