What to Say to the Suffering

I am sure we have all been in situations where we are trying to minister to someone who is suffering. Sometimes, we can empathize with the one who is suffering because we have walked the same road they are now walking. We have experienced the same pain…the same heartache. We truly are able to comfort them with the comfort we have received from Christ in a very specific way. But, more times than not, we have not experienced exactly what our friend has, and we can be at a loss as to how we can best minister to them…how to best encourage them without adding to their pain or creating an awkward situation that leads to awkward silence. 

Of course, silence is not always awkward. In fact, it can be of greatest comfort just to BE there…without having to use words at all. We blame Job’s friends for a lot of the counsel they gave…and rightly so. But do you realize they sat with him in COMPLETE silence for 7 days?! They sure started out right! 

We also know that God’s Word is sufficient for every pain of the human heart. A timely Scripture can be a balm to the soul. But Scripture can also feel like shards of glass, if not used appropriately. Pray that God would give you wisdom as you seek to use His Word to encourage their broken heart. 

With all that said…words can still be hard to come by in the midst of the trials. Over the years, there are some sentences, some phrases, some words that I have found helpful to keep a conversation going, to show thoughtful care and to open up a door for encouragement.  I thought maybe one of these phrases or questions might be something you could use the next time the words seem stuck in your throat: 

• I know that I can’t fully understand what you are going through. 

• How can I be praying for you this week? 

• How are you doing in your spirit? 

• Has there been any sweetness in the midst of the pain this week/month/etc..? 

• How are you sleeping? 

• Are there ways God’s faithfulness has been seen by you in the midst of this trial? 

• I don’t know what to say, but I truly do care. 

• What day can I bring you a meal this week? Clean your house? Take the kids for a couple of hours?  (if we ask, they will usually say they don’t need anything…if we gently “tell” instead…they will usually accept!) 

• Has there been any Scripture that has become dear to you during this time? 

Are there any other thoughts, phrases or words you would add to this list? The more we can help each other the better!